When we change our habits and routines, or take a break and leave town, almost magically, the way we experience time feels different too. It feels slower, and more memorable. We recall in more detail what we did, who we saw, what we ate; our lives feel more interesting. Knowing this, and using this to our advantage can assist with coping when we have experienced loss.
The benefits of leaving town
As I have written about before, when we make changes to our routines and our life, time slows down. It can seem counter-intuitive to want to slow time when we are grieving. However, when time slows down we can trick our mind into feeling that more time has passed.
As someone who works with parents who have lost a baby, one common thing I hear from the newly bereaved is that they just want to escape. They want to leave their home and go someplace else, as a break from their life that feels so sad and forlorn without their longed for child.
This desire to leave town or to take yourself off to another location is perfectly understandable. When our world feels like it has been turned on its head, it is a natural desire to want to escape.
This approach is not just about avoidance. Far from it. It is more about how we can exploit and benefit from our knowledge and perception of the slowing of time when we do things differently.
In line with the old wives tale (that happens to be true), grief or loss is eased with the passing of time. So, part of what we attempting to do when we leave town, is trick our minds that more time has passed than the calendar would indicate. By taking a holiday, leaving town or just leaving our own abode we can create this feeling for ourselves. Because change alters our perception of time.
Physically leaving town can make a huge difference to our grief.
Change alters time
We all have experienced holidays or weekends away that were very short, but felt like a longer break. Those short trips where we did so many new things or had so many new experiences that time felt very rich, and much slower.
And so, it's okay to want to leave town. In fact, it can be a great idea to remove yourself from your everyday and take a break, if this feels like something you want or need to do. It could be a very beneficial approach to coping with your grief.
It's Okay to leave town.
You've done it, and you are out-of-town (or just having some time off), and thinking about the start of this new year. You know 2017 is going to be your year. But, you'd like some support to get started and really make it your best. I hear you!
Get in touch today to book a complimentary 30 minute call, where we can chat about how we can work together to make 2017 your year; the year you start to feel happier and more purposeful.
If you are feeling ready to do more than just leave town, and want to take bigger actions to change your life, make sure you download my FREE E-book. It contains terrific tips to help you create a life you love; a life full of hope and joy.
Seeking more support? You might like to join the Parents Evolving & Transitioning After Loss (PETAL), a free online support group for parents who have had some time pass since their loss.
If you would like to read more from the It's Okay series: