During times of grief, loss and major life transition, self-care is not just Okay, it's imperative. Self care is something I've written about many times, as it is an area so many of us struggle with. As a reminder, self-care is all about taking time to look after ourselves and our needs. Many women, and mothers in particular, feel that self-care is something for 'later', or 'when we get to it'. But during times of major change, transition or loss, we realise that caring for ourselves is not for later. It's for now.
We need to prioritise caring for ourselves in order to care for others.
If you are still not convinced, here are my top seven reasons why caring your self is a good idea.
Seven reasons why it's Okay to (self) care
1. It's essential after a major transition
Being kind to yourself and self-care is essential when you are journeying back from any unwanted change or transition. Many of us who have experienced a major loss can live with a constant voice that tells us we are not good enough and that is why what happened, happened. Self care is the antidote to the self-loathing and ‘mean voice’ that can plague us.
2. Self care reconnects us to our lives
Caring for ourself reconnects us to our lives, and to our innate worth as human beings. The depths of grief and loss do the opposite – the pain of the grief can mean we are overwhelmed by our feelings and experiences, and as a result we are disconnected from the rest of our lives and our self-worth. That’s why daily and genuine kindness to ourself is so important to healing after loss.
3. Self care serves multiple purposes
Self care has many purposes – healing from grief is one, creating a life you love to live, full of simple pleasure is another. Self care is not only about healing after major change or loss; it can be simply about having good health and living a happy life.
4. It's pivotal to wellbeing
Daily self care is a way to maintain wellness on all levels – physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual.
5. Self care can be tailored to what you need right now
As I've shared previously, there are many forms of caring for ourselves. But sometimes it can be hard to work out what form of care you need. A great place to start is by understanding what’s currently lacking in your life.
If your life is incredibly full right now and you are feeling overwhelmed, then self-care activities that bring, rest, reflection and rejuvenation into your life are what you need. For example; taking a break, leaving town or pausing your regular routine.
If you are lacking joy, excitement and fun, then activities that inspire you to explore and introduce more variety and adventure into your life are what you need. For example; travel, completing items from your bucket list and finding the things that bring you joy.
Life might be feeling a bit flat and empty, in which case, greater connection to others, your senses and the marvels in the world are what you need from your self-care activities. For example; admiring something or someone, practicing gratitude or practicing mindfulness.
6. There are no limits to what constitutes self-care
The list of possible self-care activities you can institute as part of your daily life is only limited to your imagination. And lack of time is not an excuse - even we time-poor mothers can find a few minutes each day for self-care once we know what we need.
7. Change is welcome
Self care can also mean shaking up your thinking and feelings about your life. Sometime caring for ourselves means learning to say no, getting out of our comfort zone or a rut and turning things upside down as a way of shaking up our old thinking and stagnant feelings.
And that is definitely Okay.
Another way to get out of a rut and move forward from feeling stuck is to work with a coach. I love to support women make the changes they desire in their life - and I'd love to help you too.
I am now accepting new clients, so book in today for your complimentary consult and we can chat about how we can work together to create a life you love.