"I need a break!" This is a common feeling when we are in the midst of change.
During times of significant change and transition, and more importantly, after them, we can find ourselves feeling one of two ways. Either full of renewed energy and vigour for our 'new' life; or utterly, bone-wearily exhausted.
Both experiences are normal.
As someone who has been through many transitions in my life, including a number of major life changes within in the last year or two, I am very familiar with both feelings.
With in the last two and half years I have been through a lot of change, and the transition that goes along with that. Here are some of them. I've;
changed both my job and career
started my own business
set up this website and started regular blogging
obtained my coaching qualification
completed extra requirements to become a certified coach
planned, booked and had an overseas trip with my family
designed and built our dream house
moved house, twice
planned and enjoyed many domestic holidays with my family
And of course, throughout it all, I've run a household, parented my children and done my best to be a loving wife, mother and daughter. And I hope, a reasonable friend too.
Change is exhausting
When I pause and consider the volume of change and the number of projects and actions that have been required to achieve these things, I actually feel a little tired.
When we are going through times of transition, whether it be a new job, a change in career, parental leave, a time of loss or grief, or even moving house, it can be tempting to continue to keep all balls in the air. It is natural for us to wish to maintain a sense of normality, and continue with our regular day-to-day activities and routine.
And taking this approach can be beneficial. Maintaining routines, and keeping our habits can be an excellent way to ensure we stay connected to the things that help us have balance and ensure continue to show up in the world how we would wish.
However, this is not always the best course of action.
Be kind to yourself
When we experience either a massive change or a whole lot of smaller changes, we need to be kind to ourselves. Our bodies and our souls are doing the best they can to adjust to the significant changes we are experiencing in our life. In order to support our own well-being, sometimes we need to take a break.
Taking a break - the change you need to support you through the change
Taking a break needn’t involve dramatic change. After all, you are experiencing enough change as it is!
Some changes we make are supportive of us being kind to ourselves. For example, the changes we make within ourselves; where we learn to say no, we agree that perfect is unachievable, and where we allow ourselves to simply be rather than do.
Taking a break can also involve pausing our otherwise hectic lives. Pausing looks different for each of us. For you, pausing might be instead of accepting the last-minute invitation, you decline and take the night for yourself. Or perhaps, pausing for you means allowing the washing to wait for the weekend, or the cleaning to be left for another few days. Maybe pausing for you means picking your kids up from school and letting them run around in the park rather than rushing home to tackle homework and dinner preparation. Each of us have our own version of what a pause looks like. What is common to all of these small actions is they provide you with a little bit of breathing space; they give you space to take a break.
Taking a break can be dramatic - at least for us
As much as I love the pause, there are times when we DO need to be more dramatic. We need to physically withdraw and give ourselves a proper break, away from our day-to-day lives. Taking this type of break can be dramatic in multiple ways. Dramatically beneficial to you, when you have a big enough break from your everyday to allow yourself to recharge and refresh. But it can also appear dramatic to others (friends, family, colleagues). For them, you taking this extended, obvious break can feel surprising, especially if in their eyes you've been 'coping so well'.
However, in times of significant life change, a dramatic, large break can be a very beneficial approach. There is merit in leaving town, pausing, reflecting, and enjoying a little bit of solitude. Or you can travel; taking the time to be with loved ones in a place that nurtures your soul.
A break can help us reassess
Taking a longer break helps us gain perspective on the changes we've been through, and be grateful for what we've learned. A longer break can allow our emotions to catch up with our bodies. The break gives us the space to process the feelings we have about the change, and hopefully, come to a place of acceptance, hope and optimism.
Additionally, taking a break means we gain some distance between ourselves and our regular routine. This distance can provide us with the opportunity to reconsider what we actually want from life, our purpose and priorities. Especially after we've been through a significant change, it can be important to review and reassess our purpose, direction and goals to ensure we still feel aligned with where our life is headed.
A break helps you enjoy the life you have
Regardless of the transition you have been experiencing, there is always merit in taking a break. In fact it is important to do so in order to be able to embrace and enjoy the life you have now created as a result of the change you have been through.
Taking a break allows you to recharge, refresh and live with joy, hope and love on the other side of your transition.
Taking a break can mean asking for support
Sometimes, the best way to take a break is to ask for help or support. We outsource tasks we feel we don't have time for, such as cleaning or cooking. And that can be life-saving when we are in the midst of significant change.
Asking for help or support needn't be only for outsourced tasks. We can engage professional support to help us achieve the change we desire. Professionals can support us make the change, as well as be a cheerleader for us and our well-being. This is where I can help you!
I love to support people as they navigate their way through life's changes - and I'd love to help you too.
Book in for your complimentary consult and we can chat about how we can work together.